You feel that connection as you’re having your very first conversation. It’s not just you feeling it, you can sense that they’re feeling it too. The feeling is amazing, it’s as if that connection has recharged some part of you that you’d forgotten existed. You find yourself staying up all night texting or talking with them and the hours feel like minutes. They’re your first thought every morning and your last thought as you’re falling asleep. Like any addiction, you don’t realize you’re becoming addicted to them and if you’re lucky they don’t realize they’re becoming addicted to you too.
Strong connections can be risky. They open up that thing inside your head that keeps you from sharing your vulnerabilities, you become defenseless. Hopefully the person on the other end of the connection is equally defenseless or you should start preparing for what will feel like a slow, torturous death. Assuming you’re both completely unguarded, your connection can stay strong for days, weeks, months, or even years before the inevitable end.
Suddenly there’s a change, you can feel the connection fading. You start creating scenarios that flood your mind as you lay awake at night. You replay every conversation you’ve had, searching for clues. Maybe it was something you said, maybe they couldn’t detect the sarcasm in that text you sent them. How can you fix this? There has to be a way to fix this!
Your heart believes this energy can only come from that one person. Your mind knows that’s not true, but your heart shuts down your brain and starts making all of your decisions. Confident people can become what others would consider desperate or pathetic, but that’s part of most addictions. It’s not always them, sometimes it’s you. Maybe you lost interest in them without noticing, but they did notice. It could be another person in one of your lives that’s stealing that energy you once shared. Whatever the reason, it’s gone and it rarely comes back. It takes time to realize that and hopefully when you do realize it, you’ll remember that next time.
Your deepest hope is that if there is a next time, that connection with this new amazing person never fades or disappears and becomes a lifelong addiction for both of you.
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So well put! I feel your words deeply! In my life experience, makes more sense to call it Passion more than Love because there’s Love in the World that I know will never fade away or end, but the Passion… Passion is more ephemeral š Passion is the one who suffers the most with lack of communication, ego battles and relationship control theories. Love tries to understand, Passion is more reactive, even selfish. Love could be “bonding” and Passion a “connection”… Have you lost a “connection” lately?
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Thank you! I love your view on this, you describe it perfectly. I have lost a connection recently. It’s was actually fading for a very long time, just waiting for one of us to decide to permanently disconnect.
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I once read that “If you lost someone but found yourself, than it’s already a Win!” Take time to Love yourself. I have to admit that since I’ve started treating myself the way I expect (and need) people to treat me, I’m happier and in a constant cloud walking feeling. It took time, a lot of mantras, and broken hearts, but it works my Dear! Why don’t you give it a try? š
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The feeling beautifully described. I really like the fact that you didn’t give it name of love as love never fades away. It stays in all thick and thin of life. What fades away or goes away can be mere infatuation or a very strong liking towards someone. I read in the above comments that you recently lost a connection. Well, it’s hard but good in a way. When the feelings are not mutual, the connection better should end. Give some time to heal your heart but don’t stop loving yourself or life or people who love you unconditionally. Happy writing. š
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